


now i see daylight

by missymeggins



Series: all of you, all of me (intertwined) [2]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missymeggins/pseuds/missymeggins
Summary: jane and maura are in love in paris
Relationships: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Series: all of you, all of me (intertwined) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014249
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	now i see daylight

**Author's Note:**

> a continuation of 'it's nice to have a friend'

Jane wakes to a gentle tugging on her hair which she discovers, when she opens her eyes, is courtesy of Maura twisting a finger inside one of Jane’s curls. 

“What are you doing?” Jane rasps sleepily.

Maura jumps a little, surprised at being caught. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!” 

“Well pulling on someone’s hair is generally a surefire to wake them up Maura.” 

“I wasn’t pulling!” Maura defends indignantly. 

“Well what _were_ you doing?”

Maura shrugs slightly. “Playing?” 

Jane smiles despite herself. “Why?”

“Because your hair is one of my favourite things about you.”

Jane turns her head to look at Maura. “You are so weird,” she says, a reflex more than anything else. And a deflection perhaps from this newfound feeling she can’t contain when Maura is openly affectionate. 

Maura smiles softly, “That’s not weird Jane. I just love you.”

Jane reaches her hand out and runs her thumb across Maura’s cheekbone. “I - ” she starts but is cut off by Maura’s hand quickly covering her mouth. 

“Wait,” she says. “Don’t." 

“Don’t what?” Jane responds as she pulls Maura’s hand away.

“Don’t…say what I think you were about to say.”

Jane is immediately defensive. “Why? You just did,” she says sharply.

“I know,” Maura acknowledges almost apologetically. She looks at Jane, eyes full of worry as she speaks. “But this is still new for you and I don’t want you to say it before you’re ready, or as a reflexive response just because I say it. Or as some kind of leftover habit from before this was more than a friendship.”

“Maura come on, you know that’s not what it is,” Jane argues. 

But when she looks at Maura face there’s something there that tells her Maura _doesn’t_ know that, not with complete certainty, and it hits Jane in the stomach, where it always has anytime she’s been confronted with that tiny part of Maura Isles that isn't sure if she’s truly loved. 

She softens her voice, “Maura, it’s not leftover anything. And you know me, I don’t say anything I don’t mean.”

Maura nods but her eyes are still serious. “But you also speak before you think Jane and I need to know you’ve had time to process this change in our relationship. Please?” she asks. “Just give yourself a week at least. There’s no rush.”

“Okay,” Jane concedes gently, pressing a kiss to Maura’s forehead. 

“Thank you,” Maura whispers and the relief in her voice makes Jane’s heart ache. 

Jane pulls back to look at her directly. “You’re right Maura, you’re not weird,” Jane tells her sincerely before leaning in to kiss her properly. 

(It’s the next best thing she’s got to saying the words she actually wants to say in this moment.)

Despite the ease with which Maura touches Jane in the privacy of their hotel room, she holds back in public, a realisation that takes Jane by surprise when they’ve been out sightseeing the whole day and Jane feels a restless energy building in her that explodes when her hand brushes Maura’s as they stroll through Rue Crémieux and she realises that they’ve barely touched all day.

Maura jolts unexpectedly at the contact, eyeing Jane nervously. 

And it hits Jane that Maura is reticent to be affectionate in public because of how she thinks Jane will react. It stings but Jane knows she can’t really blame her for making the assumption that Jane might not be ready for this. Truth be told Jane’s not sure she is ready for it - but she does know that they’ve spent the entire day together with virtually no physical contact and it puts her more on edge not to touch Maura. 

So she reaches for her hand and twines her fingers through Maura’s and when Maura smiles at her she knows there’s no discomfort she wouldn’t push through if it made Maura look at her that way. 

“Room service for dinner?” Maura asks as they re-enter their hotel room in the early evening.

Jane clears her throat. “Actually, I uh made us a reservation for dinner.” 

Maura looks at her curiously, “You did? Where?” 

“It’s a surprise,” Jane shrugs. 

“But how will I know what to wear?” Maura asks with genuine concern. 

“Wear something fancy,” Jane says with a smile. 

“Okay,” she pauses. “Do you need to borrow something?” she asks carefully.

Jane shakes her head, “I’ve got something.”

Maura looks at her curiously but decides to hold her tongue, conscious of the fact that clothes have often been a source of contention for Jane, and simply retreats to get ready. 

When she exits the bathroom a little while later, in a tight black dress, Jane is waiting for her. She’s wearing black wide legged dress pants and a white silk blouse. It’s not entirely dissimilar to her more professional work outfits but with a distinctly more elegant touch. 

“Do I look okay?” Jane asks hesitantly. 

“You look like Katherine Hepburn,” Maura replies, eyes wide, voice low. 

“Is that a good thing?” Jane asks.

Maura laughs, stepping forward, “Oh my yes. You look incredible Jane.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t want to embarrass someone as fashionable as you out in the streets of Paris!” Jane says exaggerating the attempt to say Paris like a native speaker. It’s a joke but Maura knows there’s also an undercurrent of genuine insecurity in the words. 

“You could never embarrass me Jane,” she says softly, stepping forward to put her arms around Jane’s neck. 

Jane raises her eyebrows as if she’s about to recount all the times she has in fact embarrassed Maura but Maura just kisses her so she can’t and then takes her hand and says, “Let’s go.” 

They step into a pretty bistro with soft lights and ivy trellised all around. Maura knows it’s not fine dining, nor is it anywhere she’s read about on any Best of Paris list, but it’s beautiful and she recognises the effort Jane has put into taking her on what is arguably their first date and it overwhelms her. 

“Jane this is beautiful,” Maura says warmly, turning to face Jane, happiness written all over her face. 

“You are,” Jane answers, leaning in and kissing her gently without hesitation or care that anyone can see them. 

And this too Maura recognises the significance of.

Jane privately counts down the next six days in her head and holds her tongue when she feels the rush of love that builds up inside her every time she looks at Maura. 

Day six.

Day five.

Day four.

Day three.

Day two. 

Day one.

“Hey Maura?” she whispers, pushing gently on her shoulder. 

“What is it Jane?” Maura mumbles half asleep still. 

“Wake up, I need to tell you something.” 

“What time is it?” Maura mumbles. 

“12:01.”

“Jane,” she groans, “It's the middle of the night can’t it wait?” 

“No it can’t.” Jane’s voice is firm and Maura sits up, worried suddenly. 

“What is it, what’s wrong?” 

Jane softens her voice, reaches out to brush the hair from Maura’s face and then settles her fingers on the back of her neck, “Nothing’s wrong Maura. The opposite in fact. Everything’s right.”

Maura looks at her confused and yawns. “And you needed to wake me up to tell me this?” 

“No, I needed to wake you up to tell you this.” She pauses and draws a breath while Maura looks at her expectantly. “Maura, I love you.” 

Maura opens her mouth as if to respond but Jane cuts her off. “Let me finish. You asked me to wait a week, to make sure I was ready. And maybe you were right to do that, especially if that’s what you needed from me to help you feel safe and certain that you could believe me. But Maura, I didn’t need a week to process this change between us. I didn’t even need a day. And I have worked harder this whole week to think before I spoke than I ever have before because you asked me to. You know the other day when we were by the river - 

“You mean the Seine,” Maura interjects. 

Jane laughs because even in the middle of the night Maura’s need to name things correctly remains. “Yes the Seine, whatever that’s not really the important bit Maura. When we were walking and we stopped and I told you how beautiful you looked? That was the second thought I had in that moment. The very first thing that entered my head was ‘I love you.’ And when we were in the catacombs and you caught me staring at you and I told you I was just really happy to be there with you? Also only the second thought that crossed through my head in that moment. There’s a pattern here Maura.” 

“Well, I’d hardly call two occurrences a pattern Jane,” Maura starts seriously.

Jane laughs, “You want a stronger data set Maura? Cos I can give you one. I can list every time, every moment this week that I’ve known it. All week, every time I looked at you, every time I thought about you, or heard your voice, there has only been one thought in my head; that I am so in love with you.” 

She raises her other hand to Maura’s cheek now and leans in closer. “And I get it, I get why you asked me not to rush into saying it. I know we haven’t been on a level playing field here. You’ve known how you felt about me for so much longer and I’ve been a dense fool for most of that time. And I know that makes you scared but I promise you, I would never say it if it wasn’t true Maura and I will never give you reason to doubt it. I love you and I couldn’t wait another minute to say it.” 

Maura’s eyes are glistening and she raises her hand to swipe at them, “I uh - ”

“Don’t you dare say you have a foreign body in your eye Maura!” Jane says fiercely. 

Maura laughs and pulls Jane in to kiss her. When they part she says, “I was going to say, I’m crying. You made me cry.”

“Good tears though right?” Jane questions. 

“You are a dense fool if you have to ask that,” Maura replies fondly. “Thank you Jane.”

“For what?” 

“For waiting a week like I asked you to. And for not waiting longer than that.” 

Jane smiles and rests her head against Maura’s. 

“Anything for you Maura.” 

(When Maura is asleep again, Jane breathes it out one more time. 

“I love you.” 

And another, “I love you.” 

Again and again until finally she feels like she can breathe again, like her lungs are no longer held hostage by unspoken words.)


End file.
